


In Which James Shoves Something In His Pants

by Hihoneyimdead



Series: Sugar Pine 7 Drabbles [13]
Category: Sugar Pine 7 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Heist, Missions Gone Wrong, Writing Exercise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 13:10:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15219863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hihoneyimdead/pseuds/Hihoneyimdead
Summary: A heist gone awry? Wow, whoda thunk it?





	In Which James Shoves Something In His Pants

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't been active in a while, have I? I apologize. School got in the way. This is just writing practice starring my favorite boys. Enjoy.

So here is how it works:

Steven pretends to lead, instead choosing to snark “to himself” as the everyone else is shot at. Cib runs in head-first-dick-first and somehow manages to take out every guard in the place in two seconds flat. James does some extremely kickass shit and manages to top Cib’s body count by, like, a million. Autumn isn’t there, she’s probably off sucking Greene’s macrodick or something (ew). Jamie and Mimi just kind of stand there and look human.

And, honestly? James doesn’t know how any of this shit works. They’re a fucking mess. Steven talks to himself, Cib probably doesn’t know that the guys on the floor aren’t “sleeping little bitches”, and he has no clue as to what exactly Jamie and Mimi do. 

“Get the money!” Mimi orders. 

James rolls his eyes and doesn’t get the money. He isn’t the money-getting-guy. That’s someone less important than him. Like Jamie. 

But Jamie doesn’t get the money. And sirens are wailing in the background and Cib and Steve are pretending to dry hump an unconscious guard and Jamie is staring blankly at the door. So James goes to get the money, expertly jumping and flipping and dodging. Like a pro. Because he is a pro, thank you very much, he’s been doing this for long enough to know not to step in the middle of a laser. 

The room around him glows red, he looks down, he takes his foot out of the laser, and he runs to the money. 

“What did you do!?” Mimi screeches. 

James can hear the door kick open and he can hear the cops ordering the boys around, and he can hear Cib trying to get the cops to leave by offering another free belly dance. As if it worked the last time, bah.

He grabs the cartoony bag of money and shoves it down his pants, just as they rehearsed. 

“Where’s the other one?” a cop shouts. 

James rolls his eyes. Dumb cops are searching everywhere except for the vault. Where the money is. Where a man would go to steal money. 

He pulls a smoke bomb out of one of his many pockets and pulls the trigger. He throws it down the hall and waits. 

Steven cries out like the little bitch he is as the bomb smacks against the side of his face. James looks down into his hand and realizes, wait, he didn’t throw the bomb. 

He’s led out moments later, hands in the air, pants in police custody. With the money. 

And, of course, he has to sit next to Steven in the car to the station. He’s already embarrassed enough, he doesn’t need Steven muttering to himself about how cute James’ dinosaur-spotted boxers are. 

Bruce and Autumn are already at the station waiting when the cars get there. Autumn just rolls her eyes and pays the bail. 

This happens every time. Every. Damn. Time. But James wouldn’t dare change it for the world. 

After all, he still got the money.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @ohnomypeas
> 
> Come find me if you want more James. Because he's neat.


End file.
